Edwin Arnaudin: I greatly underestimated moviegoers’ excitement to witness two of cinema’s most beloved titans go head-to-head. Yet here folks are, choosing #TeamGodzilla or #TeamKong and revved up like they’ve been snorting Pixie Stix and chugging Red Bulls. Which monster do you side with — and did Godzilla vs. Kong make all of your dreams come true?

Josh McCormack: As much as I loved the big lizard growing up, I'm proud to say I'm #TeamKong. Perhaps it's because all three interpretations of the classic King Kong story — the 1933 original, the '76 Dino De Laurentiis remake, and the 2005 Peter Jackson epic — were formative films for me at a young age. However, as a massive fan of both characters, it’s been a dream of mine to see these titans clash in a much grander setting than the very dated (but still very entertaining) King Kong vs. Godzilla (1962). With that said, I'm proud to say that Godzilla vs. Kong consistently satisfies the seven-year-old fanboy within whenever either of the two Kaiju are on screen, though I will admit that the moments without the titular creatures are a mixed bag at best.

Edwin: It does feel like Adam Wingard’s film is all about setting up a few big battles between the two fellas. Despite setting the first showdown largely underwater and the second at night — something that, for whatever reason, action directors love to do with Kaiju and other mammoth creatures, despite the resulting compromised visuals — each delivers a handful of epic moments that would be a blast to experience in a crowded theater. And, sure, the title makes it abundantly clear that this isn’t exactly Hamlet vs. Macbeth, but a little more attention to the human elements would have made a huge difference. Sounds like you found the writing about as atrocious as I did?

Josh: I wouldn't say it's any more or less so than a lot of the previous writing in Legendary's “Monsterverse" movies, but it's still extremely painful at times. One particular sequence in which we’re introduced to scientist Nathan Lind (Alexander Skarsgård) and given information about the film's Hollow Earth subplot is quite hard to endure. I also think it's worth pointing out that the film ultimately has two narratives: one focusing on Skarsgård's Kong-centric drama and the other on Brian Tyree Henry and Millie Bobby Brown (reprising her role from 2019's Godzilla: King of the Monsters) trying to figure out why Godzilla is suddenly such a jerk this time around.

While both subplots are rather uninteresting, I found myself much more drawn to the Kong story. For one, it doesn't have the dreadfully unfunny "comedic" dialogue of the other storyline, and also because I found the relationship between Kong and young mute girl Jia (newcomer Kaylee Hottle) rather touching. It's not deep or incredibly well-developed, but I'm a sucker for children bonding with giant monsters.

Edwin: I also far prefer the Kong storyline for its greater sense of wonder and framing of him as a titan who might actually be trustworthy. Having Rebecca Hall, one of my favorite actors, as Kong specialist Ilene Andrews also helps, but both arcs are so rushed and mismanaged that I wish the screenplay had gone through a revision or two. The addition of Maya Simmons (Eiza González, I Care a Lot) — daughter of Apex Industries honcho Walter Simmons (Demián Bichir), whose clandestine efforts prompt Godzilla’s attack on the company’s Florida facility — and Apex’s special aircraft that can get Kong & Co. to Hollow Earth is incredibly clumsy.

But I’m with you that the conspiracy theory trio of Henry, Brown, and Julian Dennison (Hunt for the Wilderpeople) is unmatched in its awfulness. Their science-laden dialogue and sad attempts at humor (especially from Henry) are rough, and the ease with which they infiltrate Apex and just so happen to make their way to Hong Kong where the film's world-altering events are occurring is flat out ridiculous.

Josh: Also, for as much as the buildup of getting to the Hollow Earth proved to be somewhat tedious, I found the sequence once they first arrive to be pretty visually stunning. Did you admire this fantasy setting?

Edwin: Though we leave it almost as soon as we arrive, it’s definitely a place I’d like to spend more time in. Since it’s clear that the screenwriting team of Max Borenstein (who wrote 2014’s Godzilla and co-wrote Kong: Skull Island) and Eric Pearson (Thor: Ragnarok; Black Widow) don’t give a damn about the humans, we might as well get to hang out in the film’s most appealing location a little longer and see Kong be a badass. Still, even here, Wingard’s direction feels sloppy as he cheapens the setting’s natural awe with confusing camera flips and whatnot. Is he the right person to helm this film?

Josh: I was personally wowed by some Wingard's directorial flourishes in the VFX sequences. I enjoy a handful of his previous work — namely You're Next and The Guest — but I didn’t expect to see such dynamic movement from the camera in the film's battle sequences. Perhaps it can seem confusing and sloppy to some, but I found Godzilla vs. Kong more visually appealing than a lot of modern blockbusters of the same mold. There's also some wonderfully bizarre imagery in the film's second half that seems like a cross between J.R.R. Tolkien and heavy metal album covers from the 1980s. It's also all accented by Wingard's fantastic use of neon colors.

We have to talk about the battle sequences now, because that's really why audiences are going to see this film. For me, each of these were not only better than all of the monster fights in the previous three "Monsterverse" movies combined, but I'd go as far to say that they rival Guillermo del Toro's Pacific Rim on sheer entertainment value. Where do you stand on the Kaiju rumbles?

Edwin: As I noted earlier, seeing the showdowns in a theater with an amped-up, opening weekend audience would be a hell of a good time. But because of the numerous shortcomings we’ve mentioned, I don’t think these moments are wholly earned and therefore aren’t as thunderous as they could be in more talented hands. The human side gets far too much screen time, and while it’s a treat to follow Kong into the Hollow Earth, there’s a surprisingly small amount of shared Godzilla/Kong scenes. I don’t want to see an endless, Superman v. Zod-style rumble, but I was hoping for more than what we get.

Josh: I can't disagree with that criticism, and perhaps it's just my own fanboy-ish biases that are keeping me from being on board with you. All of what we said about the endless exposition and underdeveloped characters is still certainly true, but I just can't help but enjoy the hell out of this stupid movie. Its colorful visuals and creature designs are right up my alley and make this my personal favorite of the “Monsterverse” films. When this movie is making good on its promise of Godzilla and Kong beating the crap out of each other, it's pure bliss. Hell, even the weaker moments are no worse than the previous movie or even other recent creature features, like the two bafflingly stupid Jurassic World movies.

I think this film leaves us off with some fun possibilities for future monster brawls (Destroy All Monsters remake? Please!), but if this is the last time we see these two titans until some other interpretation, that'll be fine by me. I'm giving this oversized B-movie a very fitting B.

Edwin: I was pretty surprised not to have a tag scene setting up the next adventure, and to have it all clock in at under two hours — almost sacrilegious for a modern blockbuster, though also a welcome shift despite the slapdash script that makes such brevity possible. It feels like Wingard and his writers dreamed up a handful of big, impressive set pieces, but weren’t sure how to connect them in a reasonable manner.

Whenever the “Monsterverse” inevitably resumes, I hope a new cast and crew sees it through. The scenes that everyone’s paying to see are a major step above the empty noise of King of the Monsters, but are on par for me with Godzilla and Skull Island while lacking the intelligence of the former’s screenplay and the dumb fun of the latter’s. The throwdowns and other scattered moments of wonder are just enough to get a C from me and continue the search for a great action film in 2021 that doesn’t star Bob Odenkirk.

Grade: B-minus. Rated PG-13. Starts March 31 at the Carolina Cinemark, when it’s also available to stream via HBO Max

(Photos: Warner Bros.)