Of all the vanity projects Patrick Wilson could have dedicated himself to, Insidious: The Red Door is one of the stranger options.

The star of the horror series’ first two installments, the actor returns for a third spin as astral projector Josh Lambert but also makes his feature directorial debut and sings a bizarre cover of Shakespears Sister’s “Stay” with Swedish rock band Ghost over the end credits.

And none of these contributions is remotely good.

The fifth film in what had been one of the most consistently strong scary movie series, The Red Door is the first Insidious chapter not written by Leigh Whannell, who merely has a Story credit. His involvement beyond little more than an idea or outline is sorely missed and paves the way for his hack replacement Scott Teems (Firestarter; Halloween Kills) to craft more of a lousy family drama than a horror film.

Unlike the series’ other installments, which waste little time getting to the scares, The Red Door takes forever for anything of note to happen. In the buildup to something resembling horror, the filmmakers spend a confounding amount if time exploring Josh’s troubled mental state as he mourns the death of his mother (Barbara Hershey), divorce from Renai (Rose Byrne, present for approximately two days of shooting), and estrangement from his oldest son Dalton (Ty Simpkins).

Each of these woes is of course linked to his “lost year” caused by hypnosis at the end of Chapter 2, which receives a callback at this film’s onset that’s better than anything that follows. As Dalton begins art school and experiences his own problems from the memory-wipe, Wilson pads both father and son storylines with copious dead space, unaccompanied by music, as if daring viewers to stay awake.

But the dullness has an unexpected upside. Wilson is so inept at establishing tension that when jump scares occur, they’re legitimately frightening because they truly come out of nowhere. Much like a car suddenly crashing through your living room wall, his supernatural threats pop out with a jarring randomness that only a truly bad director could pull off.

What makes the failure of The Red Room all the more painful is that practically all the beloved ingredients from the series are present. In addition to the original cast members, Teems gifts us fun cameos from paranormal investigators Specs (Whannell) and Tucker (Angus Sampson), as well as shots of the grisly instruments of doom in the Lipstick-Face Demon’s lair. They’re just not used in competent ways, as if merely showing these familiar details is sufficient, and under Teems’ and Wilson’s leadership, the rules of The Further have never been murkier or more flexible.

Without Whannell or James Wan, director of the series’ first two films, in a hands-on role, The Red Door is in serious need of oil on its cinematic hinges. Better to pretend it doesn’t exist and preserve your positive memories of the preceding chapters.

Grade: D-plus. Rated PG-13. Now playing at AMC River Hills 10, Carolina Cinemark, and Regal Biltmore Grande.

(Photo: Screen Gems)