Whenever Malcolm & Marie fulfills its destiny and is staged as an Off-Broadway play, give me a call.

A single-location two-hander, packed with monologues and caustic exchanges that build to a handful of gut-punch revelations, the quarantine-shot production carries little cinematic value under the guidance of writer/director Sam Levinson. However, the performances it inspires in its first iteration cry out for live audiences and a weeks-long run to help make its strengths sing in ways its creator is unable to shepherd onscreen.

Unfolding essentially in real-time, the late-night feud between the titular couple after he (John David Washington) fails to thank her (Zendaya) in a post-screening speech following his new film’s rapturous opening night screening strives to be Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? — or at least a series of twists on the big fight from Marriage Story — and frequently carries an Albee-esque level of tension and discomfort. 

Both actors give their all, exhibit impressive chemistry, and show plenty of range, though Zendaya feels somewhat miscast — her youthful timbre consistently at odds with Marie’s fraught personal history, a friction made all the more distracting by the character’s undefined age.

Still, she and Washington bring such commitment to the handful of shallow, egomaniacal topics their characters discuss — and discuss, and discuss — that their efforts elevate the one-upmanships of who’s the better partner, Malcolm’s poor peacemaking skills, and the film analysis acumen of “the white woman from the L.A. Times” to captivating drama almost solely by their collective energy.

Why Levinson decides to shoot it all in B&W, though, is a bit puzzling. Along with an ode to Malcolm’s love of classic cinema, the logic seems to be the nighttime setting and lack of visible color from the outdoors, but it otherwise serves minimal purpose and largely comes off as gimmicky, especially since the director does little of note with his camera and frequently uses improper lighting.

Nevertheless, it’s a big step up from his loathsome, misguided Assassination Nation — the premiere of which inspired Malcolm & Marie after Levinson forgot to mention his wife in his own speech — yet is plagued by similar visual inconsistencies. Seeing as such issues are nonexistent on a stage, perhaps a different theater truly is calling the filmmaker. 

Grade: C-plus. Rated R. Available to stream via Netflix starting Feb. 5

(Photo: Dominic Miller/Netflix)